Metaphorical Description of my Mind

I have finally mapped my mind completely!! For years I have been trying to find the perfect metaphorical description of my mind, and I have finally found it. An ocean. For those of you who haven't been following my poems in the last three days, this is for you. I describe my mind as an ocean, the shallow parts being the more day to day thoughts I have and thoughts that occur to me often. The deep parts are the places I go only when I need to, or feel like it. The deeps are dark and full of places I have not yet discovered.
I describe my thoughts and feelings and ideals as different types of sea creatures. Ideas and thoughts I picture as fish. I describe beliefs as coral reefs, for my beliefs are not set in stone, but are hard to change, at least for me. I have not found a way to describe my feelings.Maybe they can be fish too?
It is hard to describe the deeps, for I do not go to these very often. However, I have experienced some of these deep thoughts. Many of them, if I were to describe them, would look like giant, complex organisms that look to be a little like eels. Some of these eels are very bad thoughts, that seem to take the shape of barracudas or some other form of aggressive, carnivorous thing. I know deep down that there are thoughts in the deeps I have yet to discover, some that look unlike anything I have ever imagined.
I know this sound boring to you...but I just had to write it down and share it with you guys. It's very refreshing!!

The Storm from Inside Myself

About two days ago, something started to happen to me, something i couldn't put my finger on. There was something different, something was happening inside of me that I couldn't explain. But that feeling was familiar to me, so i blew it off. I shouldn't have done that. Let me try to explain this is clearly as possible. I describe my whole being as very deep ocean, with extremely deep places in this ocean being the deep places of my mind that I rarely ever go and are the most unexplored. The coral reefs and shallow places in this "ocean" are the places I like to spend my time, looking at the beautiful coral and little fish (thoughts and ideas) that i pass by. Well, two days ago, there were a bunch of dark clouds above my ocean, something was brewing, but I was too preoccupied with the coral and fish to notice these clouds. Yesterday, These clouds descended into my ocean, going into the deep places of my mind. Today, they are creating a storm, a storm so unlike the others i have experienced in the past, i have no clue what to do! Instead of this storm coming from the outside and trying to penetrate my ocean, it's coming from the inside of me, from the deep, dark places, where the most horrid creatures live. Before these dark clouds came, I had only discovered some of these horrid creatures in the deep places. But, some of these "horrid" creatures were very great, beautiful fish if you looked at them the right way. But now, the storm is killing them off and creating new breeds of these creatures. This storm is forcing me to explore the depths, for i know that in the depths, is the key to stopping this nasty storm. All the fish in the shallow places have died and floated up to the surface of the water, all the coral has died and is now stone gray. The horrid creatures are thriving, leaving me no choice but to do what I hate most, to go into the dark, and take only a small pouch of light with me. Today is the day of the storm, its either me, or them.

A new Chapter and a butterfly

Not a lot has happened since I posted last. But a lot has happened in my friend's lives, and I'm happy for them. Megan is back to her old self, before she got caught up in worldly things. I'm not sure about scott, but whenever we were talking on the phone, I could feel the difference, he's happier than he ever was. Something has happened to me though, something very odd indeed. When I was riding my bike to Cynthiana, I spotted a dying monarch butterfly on the road. I picked it up and put it on my chest and sat there, talking to it for at least 10 minutes. I know this sounds crazy, but something passed between us, in the areas of my chest where the butterfly was a warmth grew and spread all over my body. then, an icy cold hit me and spread all throughout my body. After that day, I've had more energy and feel healthier than I have in ages. I will remember that butterfly forever, I don't know if it is living now, or is in Heaven with Creator God, but either way, i'm sure it's happy.

Finally!!

Well...I've finally found a group of people to hang out with in this forsakenly small place. The band people!! I went to Pogo Joe's tonight with Butch. When Butch left...that's when the fun began. I got invited to hang out with the band people so i went over there and talked to them for the whole night...i also got hug attacked twice. half the people there already knew my name because poseyville already knew we had moved there from evansville. hat was pretty funny i thought. I also got invited to be in band and journalism...so that's cool too.

Moving Time!!

It's time people!! We're moving! We're going to Poseyville. A little town about 30 minutes away from Evansville. It's one of them towns where everyone knows everyone else...my kind of town! But yeah...it's gonna be awesome!! Anyways, my dad and I have cleaned out the aquarium we got for 50 bucks and are now working on getting the right types of plants and fishies...it's really fun actually. The vision my dad has for it is amazing...it's gonna look so beautiful when it's finished. But yeah anyways...the conoe trip was pretty fun too. I made some new friends and even got invited to go paint balling!! But, it didn't work out the way we had hoped. Jordyn seems really nice. We both really like art and poetry. These days, it's hard to find someone else who writes songs and poetry. So I was glad I met her. Then there was Tess and Katie. They were the kind of people that hated to see anyone alone. It was really weird though cause they both agreed that they felt like they had known me forever. That's how I kinda feel about them too...it was very strange. But anyways, there was Daniel too...he was pretty funny too. He claims he's a speed demon...so next time we see eachother we is gonna race!

A New Chapter

Well...everything has changed....for the better i should add. Scott has seen the light (Praise God!!) and Megan has got right with God and Scott...they're friends again. :)
I'm so very very happy God has fixed everything right up. Now a new chapter has started. Thank God! I pray in this chapter that we would all grow a little bit more in the spirit...for the day of the Lord is close at hand. So very exciting!

Is too busy getting pushed away to care

Well...Scott has officially shut me out. I don't even know what's going on with him anymore. I think it is now safe to say that i only have two more people in the world whom i can tell the crazy things i experience....my mom...and my dad. sad isnt it?
my best friend just built a giant wall around himself in under a week. i'm not sure how big this wall is....but i'm pretty sure it at least scrapes the universe. I guess that's a wanderer's life....a lonely one it must be.
i remember when i was younger i used to think that walking around the world all by myself would be great fun....but then i grew up and realized something....having a best friend is better. maybe this is why God had me meet Kristine...

Sumarizing my summer so far

Well...it's official, I'm going to Kansas City! Elyse, my sister-in-law (basically) has finally gotten a car...i'm so happy for her. now that she's got one, she said she is taking me to kansas city. i can finally go see Kristine!! My new poem series is going pretty well too. I've written about a whole lot of things, wolves, foxes, storms, thunder, lightning, squirrels, and bees...hopefully i'll write enough to make the series a book...i just got to keep on walking around...and sooner or later my dream will become reality.
Summer has been okay so far. i havent really seen any of my friends besides Mike and James. i went to my cousins' house though! i didnt see any cougars...but i did get to stick my hand into a giant thorn bush....that's always not fun. but yeah, Scott is in need of assistance with his spiritual life...he has gotten religion and spirituality confused. i pray that God helps him out.
Oh...and the things with Jasmyn...i think i might be over her....i mean...i still have her in my dreams...but these dreams aren't dreams about her....she's just a side character. I still do experience a faint extremely faint heart flutter when i see her though...but i'm gonna stop talking about this now, she wouldnt be into a guy like me anyway. i'm not too much into her though...i mean...i still do believe Kristene is the one for me...it's just really REALLY hard to love a person that lives seven hours away...especially since i cant drive out there whenever i want to visit her. her having a mom that reads her email doesnt help much either.
Well...thats all for now, i know i don't write much here anymore, but that's only because of the new poem series i'm writing...it requires most of my attention.

More news about my heritage hunt

I have a new update on my ancestors. First of all...Dessauer means "from Dessau" in German. Second of all....I come from the House of Ascania. I'll put a photo of their coat of arms up for you. I've also found out something very interesting.....very interesting indeed. In 1692, there was a man named Thiess that was convicted for being a werewolf. He told the judge that he was a werewolf but was a "Hound of Heaven" and would go down to hell with other hounds of heaven and do battle with demons and witches. he said they would hold them back so Satan would not come up into the world and drag away the Lord's followers. He said that there were other "Hounds of Heaven" in Germany and Russia that fought demons in their own versions of hell. Anhalt-Dessau was in Germany, and their coat of arms had bears and pheonix birds on it. but the bears didn't look like bears at all. they looked like older versions of the werewolf. now, don't get me wrong....i'm not saying "holy" werewolves exist or used to. I know evil werewolves do...but holy ones....no....can't be. But then this threw me off. Even if it is a fairy tale...that's a pretty cool fairy tale....

Oh...by the way...if you totally disagree with me that werewolves exist....then myspace or facebook me!

A dream inside of a dream

The city meet rocked!! McGary beat the socks off of everyone! I also got to see some old friends from Evans, Jeff Tall and Kevin. They've both changed a lot. Jeff is still his tall self though.
I've finally found a perfect place to run. It's in the country of course...and it's AMAZING!

I keep on wondering if anything is gonna happen between me and Jasmyn...but my hopeful self is always hoping...even when I know that nothing will ever happen. I found my bamboo practice sword today...Butch is gonna get a bamboo sword too so we can practice together....it's gonna rock!

It seems as though each day gets more and more dream-like. I don't know what it is that's causing that effect...but whatever it is...i'm gonna get to the bottom of it...maybe not. Days blend together now more than ever. I guess I'm just waiting for the Holiday World Trip...for some reason I get this feeling something important is gonna go down at Holiday World...and I want to be there for it. I'm starting to draw again...it's pretty refreshing.

It all Clicks!!

I've found it! I've finally found what form I can actually write books in! POETRY!! its the best thing since sliced bread! I use my tye of art to draw the characters or races of my world and then i write poems about how they act and their history...then...after that...i'm gonna write me a poem book. it's gonna be so fun!!

What the heck?

Hey...I don't know what's going on inside of me right now...it's like poems keep bursting from me..I'm not even sure where they're coming from. What the heck is going on?!?!?!?!

Confused

I'm really confused right now. There's this girl at my school that i can't get out of my mind. I don't feel like i like her...but still...i feel like there's something there. I talk about her enough. She enters my dreams quite frequently too. I know that she would never like a guy like me. Plus...I don't want to like her. I have a girlfriend already...and I think she is the one I could bear spending a whole lot more time with. But still...whenever i see this girl at school...it's like my heart...it just....let's call it an arrow, cupid's arrow. My heart feels like it gets pierced every time i see her. I don't know what's happening with this girl...but it's got to stop. If i didn't have a girlfriend i would consider actually pursuing this girl...but i just dont see that happening any time soon. Sometimes I wish I could just go live on an isolated mountain top and stay there by myself until the Lord comes back. But no...it's not meant to be...i guess i'll just have to suffer.

Dreams of spine-chilling proportion

I have had a very troubling and spine-chilling experience. For the last four months i have had dreams where i am a a lumos...it's kind of like a werewolf only holier, it's in one of my books i'm writing. anyways, i'm this lumos and i go to these certain places, either to work their or i just happen upon the certain place. THings that i feel are key events happen at these places. Like for example, at this factoy i go to for work, i find my dad there and he tries to stop me from leaving. I basically come against him and run away. also, in this factory there is something...i cant explain it..there is a force that is in the building in my dream...like a great eye is watching all of the vents unfold. anyways...when my family and i went to clifty falls, i saw all of these places. we didn't go in them...but we drove past them and i just happened to see them. There was the factory and the station. there is only one other placei have not seen...and that is a city where i attack this evil man that killed...someone i dont know who. i scratch him and then flee into the woods. for some reason he turns into a werewolf and comes after me....there is much moe but i don't have the heart to write it down...call me crazy...i don't care.

When life gets you down you know what you gotta do? PAWWWWWTAY!!!!!!

I'm so bored right now I could sit here and do nothing and not be any border. But other than that...it was fun last night at Whitney's party. We swam for 4 and a half hours without stopping and had a blast. I re-made a friend there too. Ever since Mariah quit French we stopped talking. But last night was awesome. We sat and played with the giant fountains they had for about 30 minutes together. Plus we all tried to stand on the rope separating the kiddie pool from the deep side of the pool...that was fun too. Then there was the hot tub...that thing was amazing!! Then we played pool volley-ball until Butch, Mariah, and I had to leave. That was about it for friday.
Today I finally finished the first chapter of my book! It's not long, but it took me a long time because I had to sort all the things i was thinking in my head before i started writing. Tommorow my family and i are going to Clifty Falls...last time we were there there wasnt much water fall to look at...but now that it's been raining a lot...it should be pretty "water-fally".

Heritage

A long time ago my dad said that we Dessauers "owned" a town in Germany called Dessau. I didn't really believe him until today though. I've been thinking about it a lot lately so I went to Wikipedia and searched Dessau. It was in Poland...and Lepold I was the prince of Anhalt-Dessau. Which was Dessau and a part of another region. My dad aslo told me that we orriginated from Crocka, Poland. But I searched that and nothing came up....so it might either be a very VERY small town or id doesn't exist...maybe we did originate from Dessau. Who knows. But I can say this: If we didn't originate from Crocka then I know exactly where I got my art talent from. In Dessau in the time Lepold I's reign there were many famous German artists and poets in Dessau. Maybe that's where we DID originate from...I don't know...I'll post it here if I get anymore news.

Change

Change is coming. I went to YHOP tonight and many things in my friends had changed. first of all ...Scott is no more depressed! He is becoming his old self again!! I could tell that before even he told me because if he's depressed the air around him changes dramatically. Also...i think he just might be a prophet! The things he said to people were wacky...but they made sense. Plus, Megan has finally realized that she has been drifting away from the Lord and is now as i type this battling with the demons that have led her away from Him. It's all so very exciting. Also, Austin is back...he never left but he hasn't talked to me or visited me in 5 and a half months!! Scott and I are going to his house on friday to spend the night...just like the old days.

Worried Sick

You know the expression "Worried Sick"? Well...that's what I am...right now Scott is changing...for worse. Ever since he met Megan it's like his whole life revolves around her. I called him up tonight and told him not to get too stressed over a girl...it's definitely not healthy...physically or spiritually. I also told him that no one likes being around him when he's like this. Me and Kendra have tried many times to cheer him up...but nothing has worked. I remember watching this one movie when I was little and it was about this guy who was so depressed...and his two closest friends tried to cheer him up but nothing worked. I always used to wonder why that guy didn't just get happy. But now I know why...i feel like me and Kendra are those two other dudes. I guess holly wood is more true to the reactions of Human Beings than I thought...unfortunately.

On a happy point...my family and I went to Land between the Lakes today. We saw some bison and elk! If I die before Jesus returns I want to be cremated and sprinkled in three areas. One part of me in a river that flows into the sea, one part of me in the earth in Garden of the Gods, and one part of me sprinkled into the air. I would hate to be put into the ground as a corpse. How unsanitary. Who wants to be worm fodder anyway?

Wondering About the Wandering

I have been vented onto 3 times today...by three different people. All three of them...save one...need God. I know they're seeking something...but they don't know what they're seeking. I want to tell them about to God...but I don't know how to tell them without confusing or insulting them. I guess I'm gonna have to wait for the right time. Plus, Lauren is going off the deep end with Megan...i'm really worried about her...i know i haven't known her for that long...but i feel obligated to protect her from hurt...i guess that's just the Christian in me...i don't know..is it? How can one person be a pillar for so many people? I'm not even sure how i do it. But I do it...and i thank God for that. I just hope that I see Lauren again...I can't stand having a friend that I dont see regularly.
It was Kristine's birthday today! She's been on my mind a lot lately...more than normal...which would mean she is now officially on my mind 24/7...advice to all of my friends out there...if you're gonna fall in love with someone...make sure they live relatively close...if they dont then you're liable to go crazy...i'm surprised i havent already...

The White Flag...I'm Giving Up!

Well...i've decided to give up on trying to get back into Scott and Megan's circle. I've tried so many times now to become as close to them as i was those four years i knew them before they met each other...but nothing has worked. It's just so hard because i dont understand what's going on anymore with either of them. Why is Scott so depressed? I don't know. What's going on with Megan? I don't know. I don't know because no one tells me anything anymore. Do you know how much that sucks...how much that hurts?

I'm very close to giving up...

...scott and megan have pushed me out of the circle...but not consciously. you see...they used to clue me in on every thing...the way their life was going...the way they felt...their problems, physical and spiritual. but now they've gotten so close that they've shut me out. i try to understand that they can relate to eachother better than any other two friends...but it's hard...i mean, i've known them both for over 3 years and they're both like my siblings...but now that they've met eachother i can barely talk to either of them about any of their problems. like today for example, Megan got into another fight with her boyfriend Tristan. Scott knows what happened because Megan immediately told him about it, when i called scott he told me about Megan and Tristan's fight but he said he couldnt tell me because it was too personal, so i tried calling megan to ask her what had happened...but she didn't pick up...then scott called back and told me that she needed to get her bearings back so she could tell me...but she told scott right after she was done fighting with Tristan. Then later on Tristan and Megan made up and i thought everything was okay again...but then Scott said that it wasn't just Tristan that was making Megan depressed. I told him that i wouldnt know what else because they dont tell me anything anymore...and he just said sorry...but he said it like he didnt really mean it. I'm afraid i'm losing them...and i'm about to give up on them...i dont know what to do anymore. Please God...show me what to do..where are you? Show me...

The Great Scheme

Maybe things will work out in the Great Scheme of things. Maybe the weather will be nicer tomorrow. Maybe the wrongs will turn into rights in the end. We will just have to see.

Right now I'm listening to this song called The Thief...and I realized something...there is a thief among us. This thief stole Scott's happiness, Megan's family, and my friends. Do you know who this thief is? This thief is none other than Satan himself. He realizes that we three are a major threat to him, and he's trying to break us apart. My friends...we can't let this happen. If he breaks us apart now how are we ever going to break from his grasp in the future? In the bible it says that when two or more people are joined together in His name He is in the midst of them. He gives us the power to defeat Satan if we are gathered togethger....that's exactly why Satan wishes to break us apart...we cannot let this happen...we won't let this happen! At least I won't...will you?

The Start of Spring Break kind of went suckish...somewhat...

Well...On monday we didnt do anything...then today we went to Merango Cave...my claustrophobic-ness got in the way of me having a good time. but on wednesday i might be helping my dad look at houses to move into...(we are moving if you didnt know...which you didn't...i never told anyone...and no one will ever know becasue i really dont think anyone reads these things...so yeah...have fun with them apples.) then on thursday i'm goin with scott and megan to Louisville and then on friday im going to watch Monsters vs. Aliens with Scott and Megan and then spedning the night at Scott's. When I'm at Scott's i'll probably end up tracking down Austin. He's one of my best freinds that supposedy moved. But about a month ago he texted megan and said he never really moved...so me and scott went to his house and no one was there...and it looked like no one had been there for a while....Louie, his dog, was even gone! I know he's still alive cause he gets on myspace every so often and sends me an application invite to Mafia. I send him a message but he never replies. I miss him...

Hanging Upside-down Inside-out

I can't do anything! I was born and raised in the country for 11 years of my life. I want to go into the woods! I want to run in the fields! I want to be free! I just Lauren's newest post, and that's how I've felt for 4 years! Lauren...you're not alone! I can't imagine a life where you could have fun in this noisy, foul-smelling, car infested city! Lauren...thank you for describing your feelings...because if you hadn't I probably would have gone crazy trying to figure out how to describe how I've felt for 4 years. I could never freaking describe it...now I can!
I wonder what Kristine is doing right now...

Recharge and Gut Spillage

We all need a recharge. WHO WANTS A RECHARGE! I know I do. Scott and Megan have been having some difficulties...but they're not really discussing them with me...I want to help but I don't want to invade their private space. Scott created a bond with Megan in under 3 weeks. It took me more than 3 years to make that same bond with Megan. But I can understand that...some people are just...made for each other. I want to say something to Megan though...Megan...God is coming after you....and he wants you back.

I will know presume to spill my guts all over this blog.
I feel disconnected...not from God, but from my friends...they barely call me anymore. I actually have to keep sending them emails over and over until they reply. Plus...it seems as if i have been cut off spiritually from them. I want to see them and pray with them...but every time I try and meet with them and pray with them they get all loopy and cut the holy spirit off. Guys...I don't know if you read this really...but if you do...please...i beg you...please don't cut me off completely...you guys are the only two close friends I have...I can't lose either one of you. You both know who you are...I'm pretty sure. If you don't read this then I will call you and get you to read it...I would tell you in person...but I had to spill my guts now...I have been holding it in for far too long.

Thanks and Ventilation (Alllllllright!!!)

Well...my prayers have been answered...I'm being home schooled! Thank you Lord God! I love ya! Of course...that means that i wont be going to atc...but dont worry...i'll be in kansas city when atc is going on...maybe...if i can get it past my mom and dad. Lord I thank you...i thank you for all of the things that have happened in the last week. Good or bad...i know all of those events were for the better. While I'm thanking you Lord. I want to thank you for Kristine and all my friends. Lord God...Megan and Scott are the best...i know that i've kind of shied away from them over the past couple of weeks but that's only because i've been really busy with other things. I can see both of them have grown in the spirit since i met them...and i am very glad that they have. Lord I ask they would delve even depper into your Love and find their identities in you. For knowing we are yours is the greatest part of being a Christian.
Lord God I thank you for Kristine. She is an individual I have come to like...no...love. I love her. I realize for the first time the deepness of that word. How vast and deep love is i know not...but i do know this...i love her. Her smile is still burnt into my mind. When I close my eyes I swear i can see her dancing behind my eyes. Kristine...I know you wont read this...but I love you...I hope that the fire that the Lord has kindled in your heart never goes out. I ask that she would be a light in the dark places and a blessing to those around her. Thank you.

Praying

Okay...my parents and I have been discussing if i should be home schooled next year. They told me to pray about it. Just two minutes ago i was sitting here listening to Shine on by Needtobreathe. I asked Him whether i needed to be homeschooled or not and I got a vision. In this vision there was two roads, each with a demon that was guarding the path, the Lord conveyed to me that these demons were symbols of problems that would be along the way. Then, an angel swooped down and beat down the demon that was guarding the path to the right. Then, the vision was gone and i was aware of the song i was listening, it said that i should move on to something new. Does this mean home schooling? I am not sure. It might be...but it might not be. I'm gonna have to pray about it more. Okay...until next time! See ya!

R.I.P Saxson...

I didn't know Saxson very well...but what i did know about him was that he was loved. Loved by my friends and their friends. My philosophy is...my friends' friend is my friend. Saxson, i know you aren't alive...but we all miss you...even the people who didn't know you. I pray that God helped you find your way to heaven before you died...I would love to meet you up there one day...

Inspired!

My mom, dad, and the Lord have given me the most awesome revelation today! They have given me a revelation of creativity. I was sitting in 7th period when it happened, i just started writing poems that were based off of characters that had been running around in my head forever. First there was Graey(Gray), then came Skiey(Sky), and then Grul(Gruhl). These characters were inspired by many different things in my life, some from substitute teacher in fourth grade, Mr. Gray. Some from spiderman 3. (Stop laughing). Then some from my own book i had been writing earlier in the year. These characters stopped me in my tracks; they were so much better detailed than those of my previous book. I consulted my mom and dad and they both said that I didn't have to write one book at a time, I could write at least three at a time. My dad also said that if I ever get another character idea, then write it down, for it could come in handy. If you really want to know more about these characters i mentioned, then just stop me when you see me and ask about them...but if you dont want to know...i'll tell you anyway. Be careful Scott and Megan! I'll be telling you guys first! Muhahahahahahaha!!!

I finally figured it out!

I finally got it figured! I finally found out how I'm going to pull off my two year vacation! As soon as I'm old enough to get a job I'm going to get one and rack up the money. I know what you're thinking right now. You're thinking, "How will he do that when he has to pay for his own car and insurance, and what about his cell phone?" Well, I won't have my own car, I'll use my dad's. The cell phone problem can be fixed easily, I won't have one, simple as that. I don't have one now, so why would I get one in the future? I'd just become addicted to texting like the rest of you slaves to electricity. (That's what I like to call people with cell phones. haha) That knocks off half of my expenses, which leaves more money for me =) . Whenever I graduate from high school I'll buy a car 3 or 4 weeks in advance with cash, not a loan. I'll do that so I won't have to pay a monthly bill when I start traveling. That would be a real hassel. With that out of the way, I could save at least $2,000...woohoo! After that, with money enough for at least half a year of traveling around in my pocket, I would say bye-bye to my family and hit the road. With that half-a-year's worth of money in my pocket, I'll use it to spend at least a week in hotels around the U.S. When my money starts thinning I'll go around and do odd jobs to get some money. If I run out of enough money to pay for hotels then I'll sleep in my car. After those two years, I'll come back and, if my mom and dad permit me, stay with them until I get back on my feet. Once I have enough money I'll get an apartment and either use a scholarship, (If I ever get one.) Use grant money, (If I ever get one.) or save up enough money to pay for college myself. I pray to the Lord that this will happen, I DO NOT want to end up in the same pit my brother has made. I won't mention his name for...reasons. But I want to thank my dad and my brother for helping me create this wonderful dream they have inspired me to dream. Thanks guys, you're forever in my heart. If anyone has any thoughts or ideas on how else that would make this easier or better for me, leave a comment or email me at wolfspeak@insightbb.com
Thanks!

Going Under by Going Over

I feel weird today. For some reason over the past week I've been feeling like something bad is about to happen. Something very bad. It might be the weather, I don't know. Anyways, I think I might start typing my book again, I feel like it, so why not? The only problem is...I don't know how to word what I want to be said. It sucks...big time. Plus I'm starting to get some real good ideas for other good books, and when that happens I can't stop myself from typing the first two chapters of said book. I'm seeming to manage though. I read this one comic today called Pearls Before Swine. It's hilarious. The cartoonist who originally came up with the strip was actually a former lawyer that quit his job to make people laugh. Now no one can say lawyers don't have their own personalities! Scott, Kendra, and I went to the mall today. I know no regular teenager would say this, let alone think it, but I hate the mall. Here's three good reasons why, ready?
1. Too much people.
2. Too much noise.
3. Weird smells.
When I told Scott this he just looked at me funny and told me I needed to live it up. I don't consider going to a smelly mall all the time living it up. I'm gonna live it up when I have money. That's gonna be after I graduate from high school. I'm taking a two year vacation to do all the stuff I've always wanted to do before I go to college. I think going to college as soon as I'm done with high school would be stupid. Why not take a little break first?
Megan is having a tough time right now, her and Kristina got into a spat. A big one. I called her but she was at Chuck E. Cheese with her folks...I'm worried. You know what's weird? Ever since that Sunday night when I told Megan that Scott likes her I've felt like our relationship is...different. Like I've been pushed away a little. I don't know what it is. I know she might read this, but I don't care. This is the one place I can type down my thoughts and not offend or confuse anyone directly...I think.

It's been a while...

Hey. Like I said...it's been a while. A lot of things have happened since I wrote on here lase time. First of all, and ice storm hit E-ville. (Yes, that's what I call Evansville...it is EVIL!!) We skipped a whole week of school because of it. The trees looked so beautiful...I was stuck inside though...FOR 5 DAYS!! It sucked...big time. I have also created a new art style I like to call Trabstract. A mix between Tribal and Abstract. Everyone I've showed my new art style to says one thing...tattoo. Right now my dad is trying to find a Christian Tattoo artist to buy my designs...I can't wait until he finds one! I've also been really mello today. I don't know what it is...I was sick today. I had an extreme case of the dizzies. Whenever I woud stand up my head throbbed and my eyes felt like they were being gouged out. Then after I got better, I got really mello. I don't know why. Well, until next time!