Is too busy getting pushed away to care

Well...Scott has officially shut me out. I don't even know what's going on with him anymore. I think it is now safe to say that i only have two more people in the world whom i can tell the crazy things i experience....my mom...and my dad. sad isnt it?
my best friend just built a giant wall around himself in under a week. i'm not sure how big this wall is....but i'm pretty sure it at least scrapes the universe. I guess that's a wanderer's life....a lonely one it must be.
i remember when i was younger i used to think that walking around the world all by myself would be great fun....but then i grew up and realized something....having a best friend is better. maybe this is why God had me meet Kristine...

Sumarizing my summer so far

Well...it's official, I'm going to Kansas City! Elyse, my sister-in-law (basically) has finally gotten a car...i'm so happy for her. now that she's got one, she said she is taking me to kansas city. i can finally go see Kristine!! My new poem series is going pretty well too. I've written about a whole lot of things, wolves, foxes, storms, thunder, lightning, squirrels, and bees...hopefully i'll write enough to make the series a book...i just got to keep on walking around...and sooner or later my dream will become reality.
Summer has been okay so far. i havent really seen any of my friends besides Mike and James. i went to my cousins' house though! i didnt see any cougars...but i did get to stick my hand into a giant thorn bush....that's always not fun. but yeah, Scott is in need of assistance with his spiritual life...he has gotten religion and spirituality confused. i pray that God helps him out.
Oh...and the things with Jasmyn...i think i might be over her....i mean...i still have her in my dreams...but these dreams aren't dreams about her....she's just a side character. I still do experience a faint extremely faint heart flutter when i see her though...but i'm gonna stop talking about this now, she wouldnt be into a guy like me anyway. i'm not too much into her though...i mean...i still do believe Kristene is the one for me...it's just really REALLY hard to love a person that lives seven hours away...especially since i cant drive out there whenever i want to visit her. her having a mom that reads her email doesnt help much either.
Well...thats all for now, i know i don't write much here anymore, but that's only because of the new poem series i'm writing...it requires most of my attention.

More news about my heritage hunt

I have a new update on my ancestors. First of all...Dessauer means "from Dessau" in German. Second of all....I come from the House of Ascania. I'll put a photo of their coat of arms up for you. I've also found out something very interesting.....very interesting indeed. In 1692, there was a man named Thiess that was convicted for being a werewolf. He told the judge that he was a werewolf but was a "Hound of Heaven" and would go down to hell with other hounds of heaven and do battle with demons and witches. he said they would hold them back so Satan would not come up into the world and drag away the Lord's followers. He said that there were other "Hounds of Heaven" in Germany and Russia that fought demons in their own versions of hell. Anhalt-Dessau was in Germany, and their coat of arms had bears and pheonix birds on it. but the bears didn't look like bears at all. they looked like older versions of the werewolf. now, don't get me wrong....i'm not saying "holy" werewolves exist or used to. I know evil werewolves do...but holy ones....no....can't be. But then this threw me off. Even if it is a fairy tale...that's a pretty cool fairy tale....

Oh...by the way...if you totally disagree with me that werewolves exist....then myspace or facebook me!

A dream inside of a dream

The city meet rocked!! McGary beat the socks off of everyone! I also got to see some old friends from Evans, Jeff Tall and Kevin. They've both changed a lot. Jeff is still his tall self though.
I've finally found a perfect place to run. It's in the country of course...and it's AMAZING!

I keep on wondering if anything is gonna happen between me and Jasmyn...but my hopeful self is always hoping...even when I know that nothing will ever happen. I found my bamboo practice sword today...Butch is gonna get a bamboo sword too so we can practice together....it's gonna rock!

It seems as though each day gets more and more dream-like. I don't know what it is that's causing that effect...but whatever it is...i'm gonna get to the bottom of it...maybe not. Days blend together now more than ever. I guess I'm just waiting for the Holiday World Trip...for some reason I get this feeling something important is gonna go down at Holiday World...and I want to be there for it. I'm starting to draw again...it's pretty refreshing.

It all Clicks!!

I've found it! I've finally found what form I can actually write books in! POETRY!! its the best thing since sliced bread! I use my tye of art to draw the characters or races of my world and then i write poems about how they act and their history...then...after that...i'm gonna write me a poem book. it's gonna be so fun!!

What the heck?

Hey...I don't know what's going on inside of me right now...it's like poems keep bursting from me..I'm not even sure where they're coming from. What the heck is going on?!?!?!?!

Confused

I'm really confused right now. There's this girl at my school that i can't get out of my mind. I don't feel like i like her...but still...i feel like there's something there. I talk about her enough. She enters my dreams quite frequently too. I know that she would never like a guy like me. Plus...I don't want to like her. I have a girlfriend already...and I think she is the one I could bear spending a whole lot more time with. But still...whenever i see this girl at school...it's like my heart...it just....let's call it an arrow, cupid's arrow. My heart feels like it gets pierced every time i see her. I don't know what's happening with this girl...but it's got to stop. If i didn't have a girlfriend i would consider actually pursuing this girl...but i just dont see that happening any time soon. Sometimes I wish I could just go live on an isolated mountain top and stay there by myself until the Lord comes back. But no...it's not meant to be...i guess i'll just have to suffer.